I sit in front of the window and remember moments of weakness.
I whisper a prayer, but I don’t believe in God.
Wax from a candle falls onto a crucifix.
Lips covered in blood,
And the soul dissolved in eternal madness.
I see the face of that one image,
With the name of which I live in complete darkness.
Cry at the night window.
Eyes looking to the sky.
Cry in boundless space.
The world around us disappears.
Friends stopped understanding my words,
They are blind in the darkness of my soul.
As soon as I started singing, my life immediately left.
I should have loved,
And here I am sitting at the night window.
A cry froze in my throat,
How I want to free him,
And stun these soulless bodies.
This is my madness.
Echoes of a torn mind.
I continue to pray and watch
On the face of the image I love.
Cry at the night window.
Eyes looking to the sky.
Cry in boundless space.
The world around us disappears.
9.01.08
Eternal Death Agony
.
White fluffy snow
Slowly falls on tree branches.
It’s hard for me to watch
On people passing by.
Your face is before my eyes.
I feel my soul is dying,
But the body continues to live,
And a groan escapes my lips.
Only dance,
What were you dancing?
Before the meltdown
Makes you live,
But there’s no heat anymore.
I lie in the snow and look
On gray clouds.
Heart beats slowly.
How I want to fly.
But my wings are gone,
And from bloody lips
A groan breaks out.
Dance my angel,
Dance for me.
There’s no heat anymore, I’m left alone.
Dance my angel,
Dance with me
Eternal dance of death agony.
27.12.07
There is a fire burning in the room of a dead house.
He wants voices to echo.
Children’s laughter once sounded within the walls of hell,
It gave way to screams of horror and despair.
Darkness enveloped the small bodies.
They were happy and loved,
But the cold wind called them to itself,
And the fire finished its job.
They won’t come back, they’ll never come back.
Rays of light from the windows of the house,
It’s hell on a cold night.
No blood,
No thoughts,
Everything will disappear into emptiness.
Yes this is the meaning of life,
Yes, the house has not gone anywhere.
We walk past it without thinking
And we die.
What is this?
How strange it is that we don’t notice children’s faces
In the windows of a house with hell inside!
What is this?
9.09.07
Along the highway to the west.
I’m driving west on the highway,
I’m running from the disgusting smell and faceless people.
I disappear at the call of my heart
In the endless bustle of roads.
My life is a bad dream,
My death is you.
I’m rushing to you,
Because I love you.
Along the highway to the west,
From the dead city,
I’m coming to you
My love.
The wind drove gray clouds,
The machine cut the cold air.
Fingers frantically clenched the steering wheel,
And my heart was beating wildly.
Dance of time,
Radiance of Eternity.
I scream in pain,
You’re shedding tears.
This path has no end,
The pain will never go away,
But hope lives on,
And I believe he will never die.
I’m sitting behind the wheel of a car,
Peering into the distance of the wet road.
I’m on my way, what can I say?
Tender words.
Along the highway to the west,
From the dead city,
I’m coming to you
My love.
26.08.07
Lead clouds overhead,
Sing their tender song.
You’re yearning for sadness
My loneliness,
And I just stand and watch,
How space disappears.
Death Attraction –
Liberation from love.
I miss you,
And you are somewhere far away.
My lips whisper
Strange words:
Das dunkele Licht
Durch die helle Finsternis.
Meine und deine
Traurigkeit.
Uber hore mich mein Kind,
Schenke mir den zarten Kuss.
Ermogliche dir auf das Ohr,
Die senlichen Worter
Zu Flustern:
Ich liebe dich!
dark light
Through the light darkness.
Mine and yours
Sadness.
Oh hear me my child,
Give me a tender kiss.
Let me in your ear
Whisper the cherished words:
I love you!
26.08.07
In a gloomy room,
Thoughts form into images.
I whisper your name,
The melancholy is tearing me apart.
There’s no doubt,
Tears of passion
Consuming my consciousness.
Memory is very good
Reproduces your image,
Every detail
of your body,
of your mind,
of your feelings,
Your smile.
Oh how I want to see you, https://playmillion-casino.co.uk/games/
How I want to hear you,
How I want to be with you,
My angel.
I look into the darkness,
I see your face.
It hurts me!
My hands are cut off!
I need your warmth.
I want to feel
Your velvet skin,
Stroking your dark hair!
I want to see you,
I want to hear you,
I want to be with you,
My angel!
How painful it is to be away from you.
The light has run out,
There’s only darkness around,
And in my memory,
You…
Your face,
Your eyes,
your hair,
Your velvet skin.
Yes!
After all, once upon a time..
I saw you,
I heard you,
I was with you,
My angel.
Scream!
I wake up
Alone
You’re not here.
No.
My angel! My eternal
Madness!
Where is your face,
Your eyes,
your hair,
Your velvet skin.
20.03.07
Old photo.
Your image lives in my heart.
I look into your eyes and drown..
Dark hair,
White velvet leather.
Compelling look
Escape into a world of wonders.
My love
Burnt because of these eyes,
Because of you, oh, bright image.
Old photo
The source of my strength,
My feelings, my tears.
I look into your eyes.
O, Lacrimarum fons, tenero sacros
Ducentium ortus ex animo: Quater
Felix in imo qui Scatentem
Pectore te, pia Nympha, sensit.
A source of tears hidden deep
In hearts that are not alien to love.
Four times blessed is he who strikes with unfailing force
Your pure key, All-Good Nymph.
Your image lives in my heart.
I look into your eyes and drown..
14.03.07
Song of Death.
Eyes…
They are deep and soothing.
Voice…
Soft and gentle..
Hair touches my face.
Live beginning..
Eternal feeling..
Blood on the lips..
I’m drinking your life,
My sweet child,
Forcing death to open its arms.
You’re fighting for your life,
Don’t close your eyes,
Without stopping humming a sad song.
I feed you my blood.
Your lips press together,
To my bleeding wound.
I give you eternal life,
I give you eternal youth.
Dark gift in your veins,
Now you’re a vampire baby.
I kiss you on the lips,
And I speak the words of death.
The two of us in the dark of the night,
Let’s sing a sad song.
We bring people what they have been waiting for
Liberation from everyday life.
We’re dancing over the city,
We are immortal lovers.
In a dance of bloody tenderness,
We find each other.
In the dance of bloody carelessness,
We sing the song of death.
(date unknown.)
Little dolls.
Yellow leaves fall on your shoulders,
I’m standing looking at the gray sky.
The rain rolls down your cheeks like tears,
This is the cover of darkness in my soul.
I see little dolls dancing
And I can’t stop screaming.
They smoothly raise their arms,
Causing me searing pain.
Little dolls, dance of tenderness.
Little dolls, song of passion.
Little dolls, eternal suffering.
Little dolls, pains of contemplation.
Graceful movements like flames,
They make my heart burn.
The blood is pounding in the temples: Passion!
The blood is pounding in the temples: Passion!
Little dolls with pale faces
They approach me and smile.
They have their own world, their own desires.
Little dolls are my sin.
Little dolls, dance of tenderness.
Little dolls, song of passion.
Little dolls, eternal suffering.
Little dolls, pains of contemplation.
I’m burning in hellfire.
There are gentle smiles on their faces.
I’m in constant pain.
There is no living sparkle in their eyes.
My blood is dripping onto the floor.
Their dresses are soaked with it.
I need help…
The little dolls keep dancing.
(date unknown)
Strange words or the death of time.
Time tears like old fabric,
Leaving the past under a pile of rags.
Thoughts are expressed in strange words,
And something disturbs the soul of a dead child.
He breaks the silence with his scream,
Scares me and wakes up dead birds.
My hands are stretched to the sky
I ask you to help me.
But in heaven, not a soul
And all I see is fear.
Nerves are torn!
The pain pierces!
Scarlet warm blood flows down the lips.
The last minutes of my life are dying.
There is no more place for me in the world,
And the body is torn to pieces.
Oh how it hurts!
She stands on the side of the dead world
And calls me.
My hands are stretched to the sky,
But thoughts are destroyed, they disappear.
And in the sky, not a soul
And all I see is fear.
Nerves are torn!
The pain pierces!
12.10.06
Memories.
I remember the old walls of our house,
Forever locked in my memory.
Memories are chained.
I remember the laid-back world,
Covered in a black cloth of silence,
These are my memories.
I remember all my best friends,
Dead forever in my soul,
They were consumed by memories.
I remember the girl that I loved,
My thoughts gone into eternity,
She’s in my memory.
I remember dying, forgotten in the night
And rotted in his room.
Memories killed me.
Dead prayers.
Oh dead prayers raised to heaven,
These separations hurt me so much.
Like on my deathbed I lie and listen to the wind.
But it’s all pointless and disgusting.
I watch the blood drip from the sky,
This is the cry of the angels of death.
What a quiet night.
What a pain.
What a miserable life.
Oh dead prayers gone nowhere,
I was sucked into an ocean of cruel thoughts.
Forever I will remain in its vastness,
But eternity is not endless.
Everything dies in this decaying world,
Like the god who left.
What a quiet night.
What a pain.
What a miserable life.
Oh dead prayers falling from my lips,
How hard it is to pronounce you,
Knowing that no one will ever hear.
It weighs heavily on me.
Blood is always dripping from the sky.
Oh dead prayers I hate you!
What a quiet night.
What a pain.
What a miserable life.
Oh, my knowledge, how love is missing.
I cry cold tears like the sky,
Washing your cheeks. Filthy malice!
Again the image does not let me sleep peacefully.
I hate!
I can’t love!
I guess I’m missing a breath of life,
Sometimes feelings spill over,
And sometimes he finds blissful calm,
It reminds you of the best moments of your life.
Oh how I want to learn to love,
But everything is even, it’s not given to me.
I hate!
I can’t love!
How to deal with this powerlessness?
Oh, how disgusting and unpleasant this is all.
There is nothing in the sky, not even stars,
Those who doubt just don’t see them,
And doubt reigns in this world.
How I wish I could learn to love,
To get a taste of this life.
I hate!
I can’t love!
On her grave.
(Dedicated to Erali)
Rose bush on the grave of a young girl,
He is an extension of her eternal beauty.
Moonlight plays with its petals,
Forgetting forever about your responsibilities.
She died in the dawn of her youth,
When the body was just filled with feminine juices,
And eternity swallowed her up
Forever leaving in my memory.
During her life she glowed with happiness,
And her smile melted my heart.
During the day she loved to play and laugh,
But in my soul I felt blackness,
And until the very end there was life in her.
At night she sat and cried,
Dripping hot tears onto my heart.
Oh Marie, my eternal dream.
Oh Marie, the bells are ringing in the sky.
Her memory is a rose bush,
Continuation of her eternal beauty.
Moonlight will not fill the spiritual emptiness,
But I remember her games and laughter,
And that blackness in a good-natured soul,
Zeal for life and living beauty,
Hot tears in the silence of the night.