This is the story:
An English family holidays in Germany. During one of their walks, they suddenly notice a very nice house, which seems to them an ideal place for their next vacation. As it turns out, the owner of the house is a priest, with whom they immediately enter into a lease agreement.
When the family returned to England, the woman suddenly remembered that she had not seen a latrine either in the house or near it. Then she writes a letter to the priest:
"Dear Mr. the family who rented your house writes to you.
Unfortunately, we forgot to find out where the WC is, could you please explain this to us??
Sincerely. »
After reading the letter, the priest did not understand what the abbreviation “WC” meant, and, finally deciding that it meant the German-English church “WALLS CHAPELS”, he wrote them the following answer:
“Dear Sirs, I thank you once again for your choice and have the honor to inform you that the place you are interested in is located 12 km from home, which is not very convenient for those who visit it often. In this case, you can take lunch with you there. You can go there by car or bicycle or walk, but in any case it is advisable to arrive there early in order to have time to take seats and not disturb other visitors.
This place has very pleasant air conditioning, children sit next to their parents and everyone sings in chorus, and a paper sheet for this will be given to you near the entrance. A person who is late can use his neighbor’s paper, and at the end all papers must be returned so that they can later be distributed to poor people.
The place is equipped with sound amplifiers so that outside you can hear what is happening inside. There are also special glasses that allow you to see people in different positions. I hope I have given you a sufficiently detailed description. Let me, in turn, express my best wishes to you..
And here is the https://patrick-spins.uk/bonus/ dialogue (Virtual sex):
Sexy: have you had virtual sex??
I: Nope
I: I like it in real life
Sexy: let’s try
I: I don’t want to deal with this nonsense
I: I say I love you in real life, if you want sex, let’s meet
Sexy: we’ll meet later, I need to know what to expect when we meet
I: OK
I: Let’s try
I: start
Sexy: I’m a tall blonde in a light red transparent robe under a robe of lace underwear, lying on the bed with candles burning around me. I’m waiting for you to pass.
I: redhead
Sexy: What?
I: I don’t like blondes
Sexy: OK.What do you look like?
I: and kanapataya
Sexy: ?!
I: I love redheads and freckled ones
I: I don’t like doing this at home either
I: let me start
Sexy: Let’s
I: I’m on a desert island where I lived for three years without a woman. You, a flight attendant, were flying on a plane and some mujahideen blew up the plane. You are thrown out by a blast wave, straight onto my island. You are in shock and panic, there are wild hungry animals all around. And then, jumping from branch to branch with a Tarzan scream, I appear. Dispersed all the animals, I appeared before you in a loincloth.
Sexy: I am so grateful to you for saving me and I want to thank you. I come up to you and kiss you deeply, my hands go lower and lower to the bandage, I take your hard **** in my hands
I: wait, you’re all dirty in soot, I forgot? You grunted from the plane, your forehead was broken! I take you in my arms and carry you to the sea to wash yourself. On the way I stumble and we fall into a muddy puddle where there were big leeches that dig into your ass
Sexy:?
I: I throw you over my shoulder and run to the pestilence, the leech is dangerous, it drank almost all your blood. Your face has become pale like an ass that doesn’t know a tan. Just a little more and I’ll lose you, but I don’t want to be without a woman for three years.
Sexy: What the hell?
I: Sorry I got upset
Sexy: Fuck you!
I: ok, sorry, I brought you into the sea, the leech disappeared. We are standing waist-deep in water. I started kissing you on the lips? smoothly moving to the neck then chest.
Sexy: I want you very much. Take me, I can’t wait anymore
I: I take you in my arms and carry you to the shore. I put you down and continued my caresses
Sexy: I took off your bandage and began to caress your flesh
I: I came. Sorry for being on your face
Sexy: I’ve never done anything so fast before!
I: I haven’t seen my grandmother for three years
Sexy: well you can still?
I: Yes, I am leaning towards you to fulfill what I wanted, but at this time a ball comes out of the jungle
Sexy: Who?
I: my buddy bear. He wants it too, and I wait on the sidelines until he finishes
Sexy: fuck off everyone